Musings

We were discussing preferences for upper/lower case usages in hex constants in C (wow, that sounds dull) on my favorite C programming forum, when one of the members mentioned poetry in hex, i.e. a poem using only letters A-F.  Haiku was mentioned, so here is what I came up with

Cad bade deb abed
Deb ebbed, cad beefed, deb ceded
Deb dabbed beaded face

Hex is too limiting, so we went back to plain old English, and switched over to limericks as well, though we kept it in the tech/nerd realm.  A few more of my creations

When it comes to C, I'm quite bad ass
But C++ just kicks my ass
Why do I blunder
OOP, do you wonder?
I simply don't have any class.

 This thread has indeed become glorious
Though nerd-rhymes are quite laborious
I've become far too lax
Now my quality lacks
And my bad verse has made me notorious

 If you are no C++ connoisseur
And inherit a non-virtual destructor
Then ever so silently
Your memory leaks violently
And we laugh and say "now you are f***ed, sir!" 1

 Coding sucks, I find verse far superior
So my job took the burner posterior
They said I was fired --
I call it retired
Writing’s fun, but the pay is inferior

1 The following lyric was suggested by another forum member, which I agree is superior in both content and rhythm/meter

And all thanks to code we abhor

I was working on another limerick, when I realized it would make for a good story.  So I expanded that one limerick into a 15-verse story

A 3-day-long summit I attended
Promised to be ever so splendid
But the tech conference
Was purely nonsense
I couldn’t wait for it to be ended

 The first day had lectures on FORTRAN
Then “Using Turbo C by Borland”
They made my rage snobol
When they talked about COBOL
And I cried with my head in my hands

 At least there will be some free drinks
When it’s all over, methinks
But the cheap bastards
Made me pay to get plastered
And my money went right down the sink

 Each night, with my judgement impaired
A female I sought to ensnare
I like my girls nerdy
And a little bit dirty
And to this end, no effort was spared

 Ada, seemed to have a 4U rack
But her bra, it used #pragma(pack)
Though her bosom had lacked
My manhood still waxed
Until I found out she used Macs

 The next girl, she loved kung-fu
And overclocking her CPU
But It didn’t stop me
When she said I love thee
I core dumped ‘cause she used OS/2

 Then came the last of the girls
A slight lisp, and long, bouncing curls
I became transfixed
She used Linux
I wanted to buy this one perls

 She said that her name was Marie
And she began to talk nerdy to me
I replied in kind
Our passions aligned
So up to her room we did flee

 We spoke of assembly and C
And self-balancing binary trees
But for our caprice
The talking did cease
When she said “my love’s low-latency”

 Her gaze nearly boiled my blood
And my passion sprang forth in a flood
When her bra I unclipped
And her pants I unzipped
By using her accessor methods

 Her desire to integrate showed
So I began to fondle her nodes
But she wouldn’t admit
My dirty bit
Unless I was in protected mode

 I quickly produced prophylactics
She said “I admire your tactics”
And if you must know
We spoke of big-Oh
For the night became rather climactic

 We finished our love-making spree
I said I enjoyed it, said she:
I prefer Duff’s device
For now you’ve tried thrice
And still have not find my spot G

 I feared that I never shall breed:
For I can not satisfy a girls’s needs
I’m far too demure,
My love’s premature
And I’m optimized for both size and speed

 My tears, they did flow forth in streams
For my love life was over, it seems
I now prefer nylons
On long-legged Cylons
Whose AIs I programmed in Scheme

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